We all cry. Even the strongest people you know have their moments, whether you see it or not.
But chances are you won’t see it as we live in a society in which crying is seen as a sign of weakness. Young boys are told not to cry as it’s not very manly, and for girls it’s not a good look either – crying too much gives the impression that they are spoilt or they are seeking attention.
From a young age, we have all learnt to bottle up our feelings and refrain from crying in fear that it was make us look vulnerable. We think that by crying we’ll be showing others our weak spot and they will be able to take advantage of us easily.
But everyone will agree that we all need a good cry sometimes – it’s completely normal. And it helps us to feel better, to clear the built up negative emotions.
To be able to face your emotions, and accept them through crying, is a sign of emotional intelligence. And to not be afraid of openly expressing your feelings can actually show that you are less insecure than others who feel they have to hide their emotions.
If on a day-to-day basis you find it hard to show your emotions, it’s something you should work on, as negative emotions can build up inside leading to stress and anxiety. Eventually it all catches up with you.
If you really feel like crying then go ahead, let it out. The stress and tension will disperse, and if you can talk to someone about your problems while your at it then you’ll feel a weight off your shoulders and you can move on.
Crying helps us cope better with the heaviness of life.
Dr. Judith Orloff, author and American board-certified psychiatrist, says:
“Crying makes us feel better, even when a problem persists. In addition to physical detoxification, emotional tears heal the heart. You don’t want to hold tears back.
Try to let go of outmoded, untrue, conceptions about crying. It is good to cry. It is healthy to cry. This helps to emotionally clear sadness and stress. Crying is also essential to resolve grief when waves of tears periodically come over us after we experience a loss.
Tears help us process the loss so we can keep living with open hearts. Otherwise, we are set up for depression if we suppress these potent feelings.
When a friend apologized for curling up in the fetal position on my floor, weeping, depressed over a failing romance, I told her, “Your tears blessed my floor. There is nothing to apologize for.”
And some wise words from Roger Baker, Professor of Clinical Psychology at Bournemouth University:
“Crying does help us process faster than if we don’t cry at all, but it’s not the only thing — it’s part of a package of expressing it. If your father died, your natural reaction would be to cry. You wouldn’t be able to get it out of your mind, you’d be discussing it a great deal, and you couldn’t work or do anything initially.
But gradually, the turmoil would subside. You’d reach a point where you could look at photos, and although you’d remember him, there would be no powerful emotional reaction.
At that point, you could say it has been emotionally processed. But it’s not the passing of time that does that — it’s all the things you’ve done in between to help you to process it.”